Farewell!!!

Well it finally happened!!! I gave my farewell talk Sunday the 21st and it went great.  I am usually very nervous about speaking in church, but I know it is getting easier.  The topic I was to address was "My Purpose".  It's amazing how much material I found as I studied.  It would have taken hours to share everything I wanted.  So while organizing my thoughts I got frustrated and didn't know what I was going to say.  I had pages of notes and didn't have a singe thought of organization.  So I took out a clean sheet of paper and wrote my talk on it.  This is all that paper said:

Listen to the Spirit

It was the best decision ever.  I stood up and stated the Missionary purpose.  

Invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through Faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.

This is the purpose of every missionary.  We all go to teach the same thing!  But I wanted to explain my personal thoughts on "My Purpose".  First off I had to figure out what my purpose was not.  

1. To go on vacation for 18 months
2. To become a better person (I know I will become better, but that is not my main focus)
3. To relax and sleep 
4. To find a future spouse (What a better place to find one!  But again not my focus at ALL)

My purpose is to help others come to the same knowledge that I have come to.  Well I had to figure out where I got that knowledge.  So I tried to remember the exact moment when I KNEW that the Gospel of Jesus Christ was true.  It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be!  I could pinpoint specific moments when I knew a certain aspect, but not when I knew the gospel as a whole was true.  I thought it must be easier for converts because they didn't have the knowledge at one point where I, on the other hand, grew up with the knowledge.  I sang the songs in primary and listed to the lessons in sharing time.  I knew all about snowmen, following the leader, and where to build a house.  But I didn't really grasp the concept of them all.  I was taught as a child to believe in the knowledge of the adults.  As I continued on into Sunday School and Young Women's I built my faith on the knowledge of my leaders.  That was just it, I believed, but I did not KNOW.  

Well about a year ago I set off on my own.  Suddenly I became an adult and I was supposed to be the one who KNEW the truth.  Only one problem, I didn't.  I didn't have my parents knowledge to lean on anymore and suddenly it all became confusing.  I started college and lived with roommates who were in the same boat.  None of us really talked about it with each other because we had to learn on our own.  Well in the fall I went through and interesting time.  Someone told me they didn't think I was all that into the church.  That sparked something in me.  I don't want to be one of "those Mormons", the "Sunday Mormon".  So I decided it was time to find the truth and KNOW for myself.  I was lucky enough to have great friends who were even greater influences.  

I still cannot pinpoint the exact moment when I KNEW that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was and is the only true church.  There was no big Ah-Hah moment that led me to discover it.  Instead through study, pray, fasting, and church attendance, gradually I came to know the truth.  I know now that I don't know everything, but I know enough.  Whatever I don't know Heavenly Father will make up the rest. 

Last General Conference Elder Holland gave a talk and a young boy came up to him and stated that he didn't know yet that the gospel was true, but he believed it.  Believe is where it all starts.  From their we can learn and someday gain the knowledge.  Elder Holland also stated in the talk that those who have a wavering testimony, one not quite stable, they can lean on his.  


My missionary scripture is Doctrine and Covenants 46:13-14  it reads

 13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.

 14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

A year ago I was verse 13.  Today I can say that I am verse 14.  This is my purpose. I am going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Those I teach I do not expect to gain the knowledge after the first lesson or even after they are baptized.  Like me it may take 19 years for them to gain the knowledge.  Well until then I want to be someone they can believe on.  They can lean on my testimony until theirs is strong enough to stand on its own.  Even then I will continually be an example of Jesus Christ and an influence on them.  

Now I can say the following

I know I am a child of God

I know He sent his Son

I know to hold to the rod

I know his work is not done

I know that Jesus died

I know it was for me

I know that to our father he cried

I know it was in Gethsemane

I know He was nailed to the cross

I know he wore a crown of thorns

I know for God it was a great loss

I know it was so we could be born

I know He rose again

I know he escaped the tomb

I know this is the resurrection

I know it has saved me from doom

I know that a young boy prayed

I know the truth He found

I know upon him a mission was laid

I know this in now holy ground

I know that it is now my turn

I know that my time has come

I know I have much to learn

I know that I can only teach some

I know not all will believe

I know not all will understand

I know I will feel much grief

I know it is all part of the plan

I know I will try my best

I know I will always work hard

I know the lord will make up the rest

I know that he will be my guard

I know the day will come

I know Christ will live again

I know I will have only converted some

I know they will stand at the 2^nd Resurrection

My time has come and I will serve.  

I am off to serve my God.  See you in 18 months my friends!!

Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter,

        I remember well the day you left my side, wandered through the veil and ventured forth to fulfill your earthly mission.  I had a tear in my eye as I clothed your spirit in a cloak of love and sent you off to school.  Be assured that my thoughts are with you now, as always.

        I love you will all my heart. I know your life, the good, the bad, your grief, your disappointments, your unrewarded efforts, your frustrations.  But always remember- all that I have is yours if you will only come home again.

        Daughter, realize that in you I have placed a bit of heaven.  No one was exempt.  I love all of my children.  You have some blessed gift, some talent, and some little part of me in you.  Search for it, develop it, use it, and most importantly, share it with others.  If you really love me, then help others find themselves and lead them to me.  Show your love by serving others.

        Repent of your failings and humble yourself.  Make yourself ever teachable and continually strive to improve.  I gave you weakness to help you be humble.  Don’t condemn me for that.  I did it because I love you.  Be full of hope.  Don’t let discouragement engulf you.  I’ll come if you need me.

        Daughter, cease your idle contentions.  Be a peacemaker, for it breaks my heart to see so many of my children fighting.  If they could only see what I have hoped, planned and desired for them.  My heart breaks as I watch them.  But you, faithful daughter, are my hope.  It is through you that my work must proceed.  You haven’t much time and there is so much work to be done.  I beg you to get started.  Accomplish the mission I gave you before you left me.  I’ll help you.  I’ll never be too busy or too far away to come to you.  I’m nearer to you always than you might suspect.  I have so much I would like to tell you, but I can’t here.

        Come to me often in prayer.  I love to talk to you, my beloved daughter.  Be diligent in my work and my kingdom shall be yours.  I’d love to take you in my arms, but I too, must wait patiently; that time will come.  Till then I leave you my peace, my blessing, my love, and never forget I am nearby whenever you need me.

        I love you and miss you so very much and, oh, how I am looking forward to your return to me.

                All my love,

                Your Heavenly Father

Temptations

Today I beat Satan.

These are the words that rang through my mind as I watched the leadership broadcast.  I don't know why they rang in my ears.  But oh how I feel the truth of it.  Lately I have kinda been slacking on the spiritual stuff.  You know reading my scriptures, meaningful prayers, and temple attendance.  I have instead enjoyed idling my time away with other rather meaningless tasks.  A friend at a farewell explained that he had felt the adversary so strong lately and he knew that he was real.  I thought I am so grateful that hasn't happened to me.  Well then I realized it has.  You see I am not tempted by the big things that I thought I would be.  Yeah I miss boys and sometimes I want to watch not very good tv shows, but those things were easy to ignore.  What I realize today is how Satan is tempting me instead of those things.

The internet, especially facebook, has been my temptations.  I could and have spent way to many hours on it learning about random people and their lives.  Then I begin to blog stalk.  It has been interesting to read random stories and sometimes a little inspirational, but they aren't what I need to be reading. Pinterest is my worst nightmare.  I spend countless hours reading quotes, planning my dream wedding, building my dream home, finding those perfect recipes, and pinning a half a million crafts.  But when I get bored with that I turn to YouTube.  I love watching Studio C comedy clips, but they are so addicting!  I can go two hours without even thinking about it.

So realizing that Satan has tempted me these little things.  It scared me today when they stated missionaries can now use facebook.  I don't really want to because I am scared I am going to not use it wisely.  But I have to be strong.  Just like today when I felt that I had beat Satan, I am going to continue to seek that in my life.  I am going to fight him with all my might.  I know sometimes I may slip, but repeat and repent.  I will stay strong!

Shopping!

So what girl in her right mind doesn't love shopping!!! Well me...but I don't consider myself in the right mind most of the time so it all makes sense!  But I wasn't always this way.  When my friend received her call and we set out to find the missionary approved clothing I got really excited.  There were so many cute clothes and shoes that I was dying to have! Since I didn't have my call yet, I had no idea what I needed and therefore regrettably didn't buy anything.  Well once I did get my call it seemed there was NOTHING to buy!  All the cute shirts and skirts that I saw before were suddenly not the ones.  Often times I would get frustrated attempting to find shirts that were appropriate, but in my price range as well.  I found a few things here and there, but my wardrobe felt incomplete.  My stress levels rose significantly and it was an extremely frustrating process.  And because of all of this I now have a distaste for shopping.

Well that was the first two weeks after I received my call.  One day I was extremely frustrated and didn't know what to do.  I couldn't find anything I really wanted and had shopped online for about two hours.  I then realized I was preparing for my mission in the totally wrong way!  I had just wasted two hours on the computer when I could have spent that precious time studying my scriptures, Preach My Gospel, or anything else!  So that is what I have set out to do.  My wardrobe still isn't complete, but gradually through patience I add new items.  I still have 39 days left to shop, I am set.  I know that the gospel is what is important to the Lord way more than what I am wearing.

The Beginning

So I decided I should get this started since I have plenty of time to do it.  Plus I have so much I can write about!!

First off my name is Whitney Calton.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I have decided to set apart a year and a half of my life to serve as a missionary.  During this time I will be bringing others unto Christ!

In October of 2012 President Thomas S. Monson announced that the age for which Young Women could serve missions was to be changed from 21 to 19.  Honestly I didn't know what to think except that so many of my friends would be going.  I said maybe I would but mostly because that is what was almost expected of me to say.  Unfortunately I knew it would be a long process and I didn't think I would have enough faith to put some things behind me and serve.  Since then I have grown so much!!!

The first moment was at the first of November.  So much was going on and I went to a park and just read my scriptures.  I don't know why I did, but in that moment my life was actually starting to get on the right track.  I came out of the misty paths and now am grasping onto the rod of iron.

I watched so many people get their calls to places across the world.  I was unsure if it was duty to join them.  I had so many reasons to go (not really the right ones).  First my best friend was going.  What was I going to do without her?  Plus if she was going what were people going to think of me if I didn't go?  Then I started dating a kid who was set to leave on his mission after spring semester.  So I thought what a perfect plan serve and while he does then I don't have to spend two years waiting at home!  Now as I look back I can see how ridiculous these excuses are.

On March 6, 2013 my decision was set in stone.  I got my patriarchal blessing and the answer was clearly spelled out.  In that moment I knew I wanted to serve a mission for the Lord and not because of anything else.    

I had so many meetings with my Bishop just making sure I was worthy and ready to go.  The last meeting I had was when I got my temple recommend.  It was probably one of the worst rain storms of the spring and I could barely see while driving.  But there were a few things weighing on me and I knew they needed to be cleared up.  So I walked in there and poured my heart out.  That was the best day of my life.  In that moment I could say that I was completely clean.  There was only one other time in my life when I had felt so close to my Heavenly Father.  That was the day I was baptized.  The lyrics that I sang the rest of that day were

When I am Baptized

I like to look for rainbows whenever their is rain

And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can and live with God again

I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away

And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain 

I want to be the best I can and live with God again

How great is it to know that I am clean just like the earth after rain.  As I walked out of the church building that evening, beaming with confidence, I expected it to still be raining.  Instead the sun was just on the verge of changing to the colors of a sunset.  It reflected on the damp ground and created a vision of diamonds covering the earth.  The lyrics sang in my heart "Made clean again!"

Since that moment I have been trying to improve myself each day.  The gospel amazes me in that aspect.  The more I learn about the gospel the more I realize I don't know.  It seems as a never ending pit of knowledge, but that doesn't scare me.  Instead I am excited to take on the adventure and discover more and more of the knowledge.  One thing I have to remember on this journey though is that remembering and rediscovering what I have already learned is just as important.

I am a future Missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.  I am called to serve the people of the St. Louis Missouri mission.  I am a daughter of God and this is my duty.  I will do everything in my power to succeed and hope the Lord will make up the difference!

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